In this article, we bid you adieu. It keeps us up at night knowing we are leaving a mailbox full of unanswered questions, and we shudder to think what you’ll do without our guidance over the long hot days of summer. But worry not, we will leave you with some closing advice that you can refer to when times get rough and there’s not a Scroll in sight.
Margo, Rita and Curtis—the Spark Notes version
1. Run in zigzags.
2. Rain dances before Investiture always work. They have not failed us yet.
3. Your parents taught you not to accept candy from strangers. This rule applies to the deans.
4. Everyone you know is a narc.
5. Or in a secret society.
6. Even when they say there is a dance theme, there isn’t. It’s always lax pinnies and neon – even Semi.
7. Academy Events
8. Be prepared to cough up a lung if you want more than Sudogest from the Health Center.
9. Don’t fight the five-minute warnings in the library: the librarians will come find you.
10. We have devised a simple method for determining who secretly likes Choate: they don’t like raspberry cookies. You’re welcome.
But above all, Deerfield days are days of glory.
Margo, Rita and Curtis